Sotebeer.Cheryl.BlogPost5
Thesis
Birth control, and the intentions which they were initially designed for. Relating these reasons to the specific dangers, involved in blind trust. Every-one portrays life through their own lens, my idea of small and yours are likely not the same.
I.Intro- Familiarity of ideas, does not make them good ideas.
II. Facts/ Origin
1.Who?Plan?
2.Why? For what gain?
3.Implementation, evidence.
III. Division
1.Religious
2.Ethical/ Moral
IV. Supporting
1.Documents
2.Movements
3.Ideas
V. Refutation/ Opponents
1.Benefits
2.Social atmosphere/agenda
3.overused, unnecessary
VI. Conclusion
1. Summing up
2. My Opinion
Great job on the outline. Maybe in your thesis you can show more what you're trying to prove, maybe that you're against birth control or that you agree with birth control.
ReplyDeleteThanks Hector, I'll try to remember that!
ReplyDeleteAfter reviewing the resources directed toward our last essay, I am not satisfied with the thesis or the layout described in this outline. I don't want to go a different way so to speak, but I am going to be more deliberate vs. general in each paragraph. Also, I think it would behoove me to offer specific dedicated minimal points rather than barley scraping the surface, generally gracing many many points. Although, I'm am not quite sure of the angle I should zero in on ...
ReplyDeletelol For some reason I just got a zap of a thought, I need my essay to be like an inbred dog, a family tree that doesn't fork!
Okay, back to essay, I would love to have thoughts about different angles. I have been working on another outline, and have quite a few "big Letters/ Bubbles" which I think I have a better direction on how to fill them, just having a hard time limiting the ones I have. I keep going over the "sentence finder" Relevant? interesting? informative? Value/Essence? If I were using a road map for a long trip would I want to make a stop there? So many questions, rolling around, I feel like... one of those old spinning "merry -go-roundish" toys that have been taken out of playgrounds, for safety reasons.
I think your lack of direct words is difficult to discern the direction you are intending to go. You're trying to persuade the audience that Planned Parenthood is misunderstood, but this is not conveyed in your thesis. Therefore, the wordy and vague word choice in the points about "life through a different lens" and "birth controls overall intentions" are misleading and don't quantify the justification that Planned Parenthood is the right solution. So be clear in your directives.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, in your subpoints, this is another area you want to expand upon to ensure that your points are clear. When you offer vague rhetorical questions, like "who? plan?" this does not give me a basis for what you will be writing and then I am guessing on the direction.
You have a decent start, just flesh it out with more precision and less vague or creative word choice. :)